Hope is a waking dream
by meliecom
Summary: "The world around her was so bright, so vibrant, it clashed so violently with everything she was feeling right now. She couldn't feel her heart anymore; she felt so empty, so numb. How could anything make sense when her One True Love was stuck in the underworld? When he was just… Dead." Post 5x20-Firebird.
_**Hey there. So just like everyone here, last week's episode pretty much killed me. Then this piece wouldn't get of my head and I just had to write it! Again, huge thanks to Kaye for helping me with everything! She's amazing, really!**_

 _ **I hope you like it!**_

* * *

The first thing that hit Emma was the sun. It was so bright. After spending so much time in the Underworld, where everything had this eerie haze of redness and pain, the colors and brightness of Storybrooke were making her head spin.

Henry was standing right in front of her in the middle of Main Street, a small smile hanging on his lips, but it didn't reach his eyes. She knew he cared for Hook a lot too; she wasn't the only one hurting right now. Emma still couldn't believe that it hadn't worked. They had all gone down to the Underworld, faced countless dangers, all to come back here empty handed.

Around them people left their houses and stores, coming to greet them with smiles. Even as she got wrapped in half a dozen embraces, Emma couldn't keep the memory of the last moments she spent with Killian out of her head. She wanted to lie in a corner somewhere, curl up in a ball away from everyone, and just stay there until someone told her it was all a dream and that it hadn't really happened. That he wasn't really gone.

The world around her was so bright, so vibrant, it clashed so violently with everything she was feeling right now. Closing her eyes, she tried to breathe. She couldn't feel her heart anymore; she felt so empty, so numb. How could anything make sense when her One True Love was stuck in the underworld? When he was just…

Dead.

Her eyes still closed, Emma didn't see Snow run towards the group, hugging David so tightly he probably stopped breathing for a moment. A single look in her husband's eyes told Snow that something was wrong and when she turned to Emma, her face confirmed what Snow was fearing.

"What happened?" Snow asked, keeping her voice down so only David heard her question.

"I'm not sure. We didn't really have time to talk about what happened, but she's taking it hard," her husband replied in the same tone, sparing a look to their daughter who was still standing in the middle of the street, nodding along absently to what Grumpy was saying.

It broke their heart to see her like this, as they both knew what it was to lose your true love, to think they were dead. They wouldn't wish that pain on anyone, and especially not on their daughter.

Sighing softly, Snow laid a soft kiss on David's lips before moving to Emma. Grumpy was still talking to her, and Snow rested a hand on the man's back, smiling to him. He quickly took the hint and told Emma he would talk to her later.

"I'm so glad you're okay," her mom whispered softly, pushing a lock of hair behind her ear as she caressed her cheek softly.

Suddenly, it was like Emma's throat had closed up. When she opened her mouth to say something, she could only manage a silent sob. Tears welled up in her eyes, spilling on her cheeks when her mother wrapped her in a tight embrace. Caressing Emma's hair lovingly, Snow wished she could take away all the sadness her little girl was feeling right now.

"He's gone. Mom… It's really over. I can't believe it's…" Emma tried to say between two breaths, but her throat was so tight that her voice just kept breaking off.

"I know sweetie. I'm sorry," her mom sighed, rubbing her back softly with one hand, while the other continued to softly stroke the mass of blond hair. Tears were gathering in the corner of Snow's eyes too as she held her daughter.

The world around Emma seemed to fade away as she held on to her mom with everything she had. She couldn't believe that was it. She had lost Killian so many times, yet he had always found a way to come back to her. To think that this time it was really over, that she would never see him again, crushed her.

She could still feel his mouth on hers, still feel his rough stubble under her hands as she grasped his cheeks, still feel the ghost of his hand holding on to hers until the last possible second. She knew she would never forget the look on his face as the elevator slowly took her away from him. He had been looking at her as if he was engraving her image in his mind for all of eternity, so he would never forget her.

Emma had kept her eyes on him until the very last moment, wishing there was another way to do this. She would've given anything, _everything_ , to be able to bring him back with her.

Life was so unfair. He had been her One True Love, and now he was forever stuck in the Underworld. How could she recover from this? The memory of his face when he'd realized they really were each other's One True Love came flooding back to her, grief choking the breath from her lungs.

Snow was still holding on to her, not saying anything, as she knew that no words could ease the pain of losing that one person who held your heart in his hands.

It was about 10 minutes later that Emma finally backed away, rubbing her eyes with both her hands. Henry was standing close by, his hand resting on Emma's arm as she sniffled silently.

"I'm sorry," she apologized, realizing that she was making a fool of herself in the middle of the street. She had never been one to show her emotions, but she had promised Killian that she wouldn't put her armor back on, and she didn't know if she could go through this on her own anyway.

"It's okay, Mom. No one expects you to be strong," Henry simply told her, his eyes red with unshed tears.

"Thanks Kid, I'll probably feel better after a good night's sleep," she replied, wrapping her left arm around her son as she tried to give a small smile to her mom, but it didn't really work.

"I'll stay with you tonight. I don't want you to be alone," he said to her, knowing that Regina definitely wouldn't mind if he didn't stay at Emma's instead.

For a moment, Emma wanted to tell him she was going to be fine, but everyone knew it would have been a lie. She was everything but fine. So she just nodded and clutched Henry a little closer.

* * *

When Emma got ready for bed that night, it felt almost surreal. Killian and she hadn't spent many nights in this house, but she could still feel him everywhere, almost expecting him to be standing in front of her every time she turned a corner.

She was just about to crawl into bed when she noticed the shirt he had left on the back of the chair the last morning he dressed there. Even though she felt like a cliché from one of those sob-story chick flicks, she couldn't help but walk to the other side of the room and pick the shirt up.

Clenching it in her hands, she slipped under the blankets, pulling them all the way to her ears as she closed her eyes. She buried her nose in the shirt, breathing in the scent that was still clinging to it even after all this time.

It was a smell that was so him that it brought more tears to her eyes. It smelled like sea, salt, and something that was just indescribably Killian. She ached to have his arms around her, to fall asleep cuddled against him, and the thought that she would never experience that again made her choke back a sob. She didn't want Henry to hear her; he was sad enough without having to deal with her sadness too.

Closing her eyes, Emma felt the blissfulness of sleep pull at her. The Underworld wasn't really a place for sleep, and she was exhausted, which was a good thing. At least in her sleep maybe her heart would stop aching, even if it was just for a few hours.

* * *

When Emma woke up the next morning, something felt weird. The air smelled like bacon and the bed next to her almost felt warm, as if someone had been lying there until just recently.

Opening her eyes, Emma looked around her. The room looked just as she had seen it yesterday, except for the door. She was pretty sure she had closed it before going to bed, and now it was half open. Pushing herself out of the bed, she slid her feet into her furry slippers and walked outside of her room, making her way to the kitchen.

She was not ready for the sight she encountered her when she pushed open the door.

Her pirate was standing in front of the stove, a pan of bacon in his good hand, and using his hook to flip the slices around. Emma's mouth fell open as she rubbed her eyes to make sure she wasn't still dreaming.

"Killian," she breathed, her voice rough from all the crying she had done the night before.

He instantly turned around at the sound of her voice, a smile lighting up his face. Just as he opened his mouth to say something, Emma threw herself at him, almost knocking him off his feet as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

Trying to keep his greasy hook away from her clothes, he held on to her tightly, burying his face in her hair and breathing her in. It felt so good to be close to her. He couldn't believe he had almost lost her.

When Emma pulled back, he took the opportunity to kiss her with all he had. She returned the kiss just as eagerly as he did, pressing her whole body against his, engraving this moment in her mind for all of eternity. Eventually, they both had to come up for air, and she rested her forehead against his, wanting Killian as close to her as he could possibly be.

"How?" she asked him, still breathless from the kiss they had shared.

"I don't know. One second I was trying to figure out a way to come back to you, and the next I was just lying on my back in the middle of Main Street a few hours ago. I didn't want to wake you up, figured you needed your sleep," he explained, brushing his nose along hers in an intimate gesture.

"It doesn't matter anyway. You're here with me, it's all that counts," Emma whispered, her voice shaking from all the emotion.

Nodding, he pulled her closer to him, not yet realizing the chance he had to be back in Storybrooke after everything that happened.

"Mom is that bacon I…" Henry's question trailed off as he took in the scene that was unfolding before his eyes. "Killian?" he asked, his voice higher than usual.

"Aye lad, it's me," the pirate answered without pulling away from the woman he still held in his arms.

"How is it even possible?" the young boy wondered, mirroring his mother's reaction not even a minute ago.

"I have no bloody idea, but I'm not complaining about it," Killian replied simply as Henry walked over to them.

The bacon was still sizzling in the pan, and the young boy pulled it off the heat, turning off the burner as he did so.

"I'm not either," Henry said, setting the pan on a nearby oven mitten. "I'll complain even less if it means we get bacon every morning," he continued with a smile as he walked to the couple, wrapping his arms around both of them.

Emma chuckled a laugh and closed her eyes, not quite believing everything that was happening right now, but she was going to enjoy every second of it.

After a breakfast of pancakes and bacon, they had gone back to her parents' place to inform everyone of what had happened during the night. While no one had any explanation for how it could be possible, they all were happy that Killian was back amongst the living.

Killian and Emma had even been able to sneak out alone for an hour when Henry said he wanted to spend some time with Regina and Robin. Emma didn't know if it was intentional, or if he had no clue of what they did with that hour, but she was definitely grateful that he left her and Killian some alone time.

Afterwards, they just laid on the bed, limbs entangled, their breathing slowly drifting back to normal. They didn't say a word, Killian's hand simply drawing patterns across her back, taking in the moment. Everything was so perfect.

This whole day was perfect.

Now they were all snuggled under a blanket, watching a movie, just like a real normal family. Sometimes Emma just really wanted to be a boring normal family, even if it was just for an evening. Resting her head in the crook of Killian's neck, she sighed as he pulled her even closer to him, his right arm wrapped around her. Henry sat on her right, his cold feet pressed against hers under the blanket.

The boys had let Emma pick what movie to watch, and she had been all too happy to choose The Princess Bride. It wasn't really a manly movie, but as they continued watching, they had to admit it wasn't that much of a girly movie after all. Even with all the kissing.

Turning back her attention to the TV, Emma tried to focus on what was going on. Buttercup had just realized Westley wasn't dead, and he was now asking her why she got engaged to Prince Humperdink.

" _Well… you were dead," Buttercup answered haltingly._

" _Death cannot stop true love. All it can do is delay it for a while," the farm boy turned pirate answered her, love sparkling in his eyes._

Emma couldn't hold back a small laugh as she turned her head up to Killian's.

"No truer words were ever spoken, love," he said with a smile, kissing the top of her head as she turned her eyes back to the TV.

"You're just like Wes, Killian," Henry said with a smile. After all, Westley had also been a pirate, just like Hook.

"The kid is right. You've even used the _'As you wish'_ line on me a long time ago," Emma teased him, remembering that night in Neverland when they had shared a brief but passionate kiss.

"Oh, right. How could I ever forget it?" he laughed, his fingers stroking her shoulder lovingly. "And I meant it in the same way Westley did too," he whispered in Emma's ear, referring to the fact that Westley had always meant 'I love you' when he said 'as you wish'.

Laughing, she turned back her eyes to the TV, getting caught up in the story until it ended with the happy ending she wished she could have too.

Henry was sleeping when the end credits rolled down the screen, and though he was too tall now to be carried to bed, Emma still wished she could do it. Instead, she just laid the blanket on him, making sure he wouldn't be cold. Then, she grabbed Killian's hand and they made their way up the stairs and to their room.

When she snuggled close against her One True Love, she couldn't believe how perfect the day had been. She just wished every day could be as perfect as this one.

His arms wrapped around her waist, Emma could feel Killian's breath gently caress her skin. She just wanted to stay in this moment forever. Falling asleep in his arms was how she always wanted to fall asleep. There was nowhere else in the whole world she'd rather be right now.

"I love you," she murmured softly, bringing the hand he had resting on her waist to her lips, kissing it softly.

"I love you too," he repeated just as softly, pressing a small butterfly kiss to the skin of her neck, making her shiver.

When she closed her eyes, Emma wished this day could go on forever, but sadly she could already feel the pull of sleep dragging her to its depths. She was smiling as she fell asleep, they both were, knowing that this was how it was meant to be…

* * *

The bed was cold when Emma woke up in the middle of the night. The alarm clock was showing 4h12 am, the red numbers making the room gleam with the same kind of harsh light she had grown used to in the underworld.

Turning over, her hand hit the empty space in the bed and pushed herself up on her elbow, looking around.

"Killian?" she called louder that she meant too, her heart squeezing in her chest as she heard some footsteps down the hall.

The door slowly creaked opened, but it wasn't Killian who came into the room. It was Henry.

"Henry? Have you seen Killian?" she asked, her voice trembling as she already knew the answer to her question.

The young boy made his way to her bed and climbed into it with her, bringing the blanket over the both of them.

"He's gone, Mom. You know he had to stay in the Underworld, and you had to come back with us…" he quietly reminded her, hating the look on his mother's face when she realized she had only been dreaming.

It was all a dream…

She couldn't believe it had all been just that. It had felt so real; it couldn't have been just that. Without her realizing it, she had started crying again and Henry just held her in his arms, silent tears also running down his cheeks too. Killian had always been more than just a friend to him. He was almost like the dad he never really had. Henry couldn't believe he was gone either.

Emma didn't know how long it took for her to stop crying, but Henry never moved from where he was. She was so glad he had stayed with her after all, she didn't know how she would have been able to face this on her own.

"You found out you were each other's One True Love down there, didn't you?" Henry asked her when they had both stopped crying.

"How do you know that?" she asked, her face resting just in front of her son's, both of her hands stuck under her chin.

"I've always known. I could see it in your eyes when you and Killian were together," he answered simply.

"Yes… yes we were. Life is so unfair. We just found out we were each other's One True Love, and now it's all gone…" she began, her voice cutting off as she tried in vain not to start crying again.

"I know…" Henry whispered softly. "But it's not gone, _death cannot stop true love_ …" he continued, bringing a small, bitter smile to her lips as she remembered her dream and the movie they had watched. Henry was right.

"I know. I know he had to stay, but this dream felt _so real_ and he was back there with us and… I just can't wrap my brain around the fact that he's really gone," she explained to him when she finally got her voice under control.

Nodding, Henry stayed silent, knowing that there was nothing he could say that would make it better. Instead, he just took one of her hands in his and held it in his as they closed their eyes.

Emma held on to Henry's hand as she tried to fall back asleep, but it seemed like it evaded her, so she just laid there. Staring at the face of her sleeping son, the words of Westley kept echoing in her head. _Death cannot stop true love. All it can do is delay it for a while._ Oh how she wished that were true. How she wished there was a way for Killian to come back to her.

She couldn't allow herself to think that way. Killian was gone, stuck in the Underworld. But even so, she still had this small voice inside of her, this small spark of hope telling her that maybe… just maybe, there was a way for him to come back to her, just like he had done all those times before.

* * *

As Emma's eyes slowly slipped closed, Killian stared up at the reddish night sky of the Underworld. He knew he shouldn't be there, knew he had told her that he would move on, but he just couldn't do it. Not after everything that had happened and certainly not after the dream he had just woken from. It had felt so real, so good. How cruel was it to give him a taste of how it would be to have her back, to be a family that could watch movies together just like a normal one could? And then to take it away from him?

Killian just couldn't let that happen. He wouldn't be stuck here. He would find a way back to Emma just like he had every other time they'd been separated. True love always found a way, after all, and so would he.

He would always find his way back to her.

* * *

 _ **So..? I hope you don't hate me now..! I'm sure Killian will find a way back to her, true love always does!**_

 _ **Leave me a review to tell me what you thought about it! Please? Review will help me go through the awfully long wait until next Sunday…! Thanks for reading! :)**_


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